Naming both of your children as co-executors can make sense when they work well together and both want the responsibility. One executor with carefully chosen backups is another option worth comparing. The useful question is who can do the work reliably, including when a decision is difficult.
You may be trying to treat your children fairly. You can value them equally while giving them different responsibilities. Choosing who will handle your estate is a separate planning decision from deciding what each child will receive.
What are you asking your children to do?
An executor handles the administration of an estate after a death. That can involve organizing records, dealing with financial institutions, working through debts and expenses, and completing required filings. Our Virginia executor duties guide gives a fuller picture of the job.
Virginia allows more than one executor. But naming someone in your will is only the planning step: a named executor generally must qualify by taking an oath and giving bond before exercising executor powers. Virginia’s qualification rule contains limited exceptions for burial, reasonable funeral expenses and preserving the estate from waste.
With co-executors, you are proposing that two or more people serve at the same time. With one executor and alternates, you are identifying a first choice and people to be considered if that person cannot serve. The will should make that arrangement clear.
One executor with backups, or a team?
Compare the arrangements against the people you actually have in mind.
One first choice
One executor, with alternates
Worth considering when: one person is willing, organized and comfortable taking responsibility.
Plan for: enough time and practical support for that person, and suitable backups if circumstances change.
Family conversation: explain why the assignment fits that person’s abilities and availability.
A working team
Co-executors
Worth considering when: the proposed team communicates well, brings useful strengths and wants to work together.
Plan for: shared access to records, a workable way to coordinate, and advice about decisions and signatures.
Family conversation: test how the two people would handle a disagreement and keep the work moving.
For example, one child may be good at keeping financial records while another has more time to gather documents and arrange practical help. Those strengths can complement each other. They still need to be comfortable sharing information and responding to one another.
What does working together really involve?
Start with ordinary situations. A statement is missing. An expense needs to be checked. An adviser asks a question that both children have opinions about. Will they agree on who follows up, share what they learn and make time to talk?
A family agreement that one person will handle the paperwork and the other will handle the house does not answer who has legal authority for a particular action. Ask your attorney how the will and Virginia law would apply to decisions, signatures and any proposed division of work. Avoid assuming that either co-executor can act alone or that every task follows the same rule.
Cooperation matters beyond convenience. In one Virginia Supreme Court decision involving two brothers, the Court upheld removal of both co-executors after their deadlock harmed the administration of their mother’s estate. That does not make every disagreement a court problem. It does make an existing pattern of serious conflict worth discussing before you choose the team.
If your main reason for naming both children is that you hope the job will make them cooperate, consider a different arrangement with your attorney.
Five questions to ask before you name them
- Do they have time for the work? Talk about employment, caregiving, travel and other commitments. Being capable and being available are different questions.
- How do they keep records? Ask how they would organize documents, save receipts and make information available to one another.
- Do they respond to each other? A team needs an ordinary way to exchange questions and answers without one person repeatedly chasing the other.
- What happens when they disagree? Think about how they have handled shared responsibilities before. Discuss whether either has a personal interest in a particular asset that could complicate a decision.
- Have they agreed after understanding the role? Give them a realistic picture of the work and room to say that another arrangement would fit better.
Distance is part of that conversation. Virginia permits nonresident personal representatives, subject to additional requirements. Living nearby can be practically helpful, but choosing an executor deserves more thought than picking the child with the shortest drive. Ask about the requirements for your proposed nominees before adding a local co-executor for convenience.
Plan for someone being unable to serve
Even a sensible choice can become outdated. A child may become ill, move away, take on new responsibilities or decide the role is too much.
If you want co-executors, ask your attorney to address what happens if only one can serve. Should the remaining person continue alone? Should someone else be considered? Who is your next choice if neither is available? If you prefer one executor, identify suitable alternates and discuss the order in which they should be considered.
Also ask how the plan would work if a problem arises after qualification. A change at that stage can involve court procedures; the family should not assume it can simply swap names or make an informal handoff.
This article provides general information about Virginia planning choices, not legal advice for a particular family or estate.
